Today’s list went from a whole bunch of things to wearing my fav comfies, taking Gemma for a walk, and a little bit of baking. I will admit I did attempt to muster up some energy for errands that I needed to do but I ended up coming home.
It is very difficult not to condemn my body for how it doesn’t work and all the issues that are not only a direct result of DIGITS but the numerous secondary conditions I have developed as a result of DIGITS.
In the last couple of weeks I have been resting and thinking about the many times in the past I have denied myself the time to rest when I am not feeling well. When I reflect on my life only one year ago and consider the amount of work I was doing and how I didn’t listen to my body at all. How could I expect my body to perform when I constantly denied myself what I needed and focused on the negative aspects of having DIGITS? I am saddened by the lack of love I had for my body and the ways in which I continued to live was not realistic for me. But at the time, I could only see and think of my limitations, the inadequacies I continued to see from living with a chronic illness.
Over the last year, I have learned to try to appreciate my body more and give myself more self-love. And for right now appreciation and love means resting when I need rest. Taking time to listen and respond to the needs of DIGITS and the numerous secondary conditions that I now also need to take care of. Although, medical treatments, procedures, and daily maintenance continue to take much of my time and it feels that my body always needs more, I remain grateful for each day. This is why I can do with those simple, back to basics, to do lists. Today,
those little tasks were an achievement and if tomorrow’s list is even less than
that, that is ok too.
So although my body makes it difficult to muster up gratitude for its performance, I am trying to give myself the love and appreciation I went years without even thinking about. Learning not to fight and navigate with DIGITS
Your Woman with DIGITS