Our labour story is quite unique as I not only didn't believe I was in labour (as my intuitive husband did) but I thought I had come down with the flu. At the time we were having a terrible blizzard and our drive to our out-of-town hospital combined with my denial, contractions, and flu symptoms was definitely one we won't forget. As it turns out, I didn't have the flu and our daughter was born within 2 and a half hours of arriving at the hospital via an emergency c-section.
My husband was most worried about me going into labour and having an emergency delivery but our baby's birth was flawless and I must add the most incredible experience. In my past epiderals have never worked, this one worked wonderfully! Despite my severe scar tissue, it posed no problem during the surgery. And most importantly our baby is strong and healthy!
I know everyone is unique in how they recover from surgery but I bounced back extremely quick. The numerous surgeries in my past are when I have had sepsis, been malnourished, and usually involve my bowels. For me having a surgery and seeing our baby, left my discomfort to be so minor. Don't get me wrong Oscar has been tricky to manage during this process from his drastic activity levels to being able to keep my flange on but one look at our little girl and my frustration disappears.
I was also very concerned about breast feeding with a chronic illness and more specifically a port-a-cath on the right side of my chest. My port hasn't been a problem at all. It is tricky having a newborn with an IV going as well as feeding her while hooked up, but we have made it work. Our daughter has healed me, the way she snuggles towards Oscar and places her hand on my port knowing that both are a part of me. One morning last week we woke up early and she smiled at me. Her perfect smile filled with love and pure bliss is the next best gift to being this little angel's Mom.
In the time we have greeted our baby girl we had to say good bye to our Oma. Our daughter came at just the right time when our family needed to be reminded of the beauty in life. In the last weeks living without Oma has been hard as she was our family's matriarch but I know in my heart she is with us. I also believe she is loving seeing our baby grow as she looks down on us. I am forever grateful for the family traditions and recipes Oma has shared with me and that I am able to share these with our daughter.
With all of these changes I have thought about the concerns and hesitations of others about me being a mom. Would I be able to care for myself and our daughter with the health issues I have and that may come? To that I must reply, caring for our daughter has come more naturally than anything I have ever done and nothing has made me happier. Yes, her life is different from the logistics of mine but we are and will continue to make it work. I also know that my love for her runs so deep and every moment I have with her is a moment to cherish.
Your New Mom with DIGITS