So to recap, I have had 3 PICC lines, 9 Hickmans, and presently have my second port-a-catheter, Hope. I have had too many line infections too to keep count. While I am at, I will also add I am an ostomate. I have an ileostomy, named Oscar.
In April I had symptoms of yet another line infection. From much discussion from the wonderful care receive in the DIGITS community, we knew something had to change. I am running out of space for lines on my chest and the infections are far to dangerous. More changes, as if my life has not changed enough as a result of DIGITS.
With the advice of doctors, a medical leave from work and school was not a discussion. Of course, I did not agree and said "let's try work and I will stay in school". Needless to say, I am on a leave from both work and school. DIGITS has a wonderful way of proving me wrong.
So why am I starting a blog? I cannot tell you exactly, but, here is where I am at. This September is 9 years of suffering from a chronic illness. In the past 9 years, I have never taken time to heal. Recovering from surgeries and being back at school and work in record time has been the path I have taken. I always thought the more time I took to recover, the more I was giving into my symptoms and pain. I just cannot seem to stop and acknowledge the challenges my body continues to encounter. Clearly I can admit this path is really a revolving door of infections, surgeries, and unmanageable symptoms. But why do I find it so difficult to make the adequate changes to support my healing?
So I am going to share what my journey to healing brings to my life. This is a new chapter in my life where I am desperately trying to step back from the life I have known and commit to feeling better and finding balance. I don't know what either of those 2 mean. I work like crazy until I am too sick too work and I start the cycle all over again. I know I have something to prove, it is that DIGITS does not dictate to me, but the reality is it does. I am the one who suffers when I do not listen to my body.
I cannot promise you that this blog will be perfect or that this blog will provide any concrete answers to living with DIGITS. What I do promise is to be honest and give voice to the DIGITS community. I will manifest wellness on this journey and hopefully so will you!